January greys and blues
How to traverse the longest month of January? How to run the gauntlet of these short, low-energy days? How to foster a plan for the year ahead? To hold faith that the light will return and the energy will flow and I will create avidly and passionately again?
There are no absolutes in this, no certainty. And in the tired moments of post-Christmas, sorting and clearing and putting away, I wonder when I will be free of the constraints of life, to shed the obligations so that I can be and do and paint and make art.
Many of those constraints are in my head. When I nurture and nourish myself, the way to my soul reopens. I have been closed, and fearful after a year of being unsettled. I have had to be harder, and work harder, when my art needs me to be soft. My art needs a place of security and play and joy and timeless interaction with myself.
How do I navigate January? I look up. In the short days I take time to look at the sky. She paints me a beautiful picture in glorious shades and hues. I watch the cloud structures morph and shape themselves. I watch the radiant sunbeams slice the grey. I settle into this daily practice and the gentle palette of winter seeps into me. I push myself out of the door and notice signs of spring, even before we have fully realised the impact of winter. I notice.
Inside my studio, I am clearing and letting go. I have decided to let go of unfinished projects and unused ideas. I have moved on the broken and the superfluous. I am taking my queue from nature and paring back. In the stillness that follows I await new growth. I trust that in the physical and internal space I am clearing that my creative soul will find new excitements, new ways to express.
I have been gifted books about the landscape to read. I have new wellington boots and new hills to climb. I have an art kit packed for such occasions and I have hope. On the days that I am tired, and experiencing the greys and blues of January, I look up and know this is exactly where I am supposed to be….in the stillness before the growth.