No to expectations
If I try to paint what is in my head it doesn’t work. I have to let the process take over from the overthinking. I have to ease into action, not give myself a hard time for all that I haven’t achieved.
I am working on a new collection of art work, easing in to a more abstract way of working on wood panels. It feels new and it feels both exciting and open to failing at the same time. I remind myself that there is no growth without fear and no exhibition without showing up in the studio!!
Works in progress - feeling my colours
It’s currently cold in the studio, the light is low and the days are short. There are lots of pulls on my time. It is easy to not go and paint. But there is such a sense of wholeness in losing myself in art-making for an hour or two. In the giving out that teaching and my online life requires, going in to myself and into the studio feels like I touch a spark from the infinite that lies in us all.
It is up to me to manage my expectations of December, of the festive season. It is up to me to know that bit-by-bit the paintings will start to form themselves between my mind, my hand and the palette and that images will be born, finished, framed and displayed. It is not my job to overthink, self-judge or critique. It is my job to show up, dim the voices that tell me I shouldn’t, I can’t I ought not to, and to paint in my brightest colours through the lens of my best intuitive self.
“The most complete and true happiness comes in moments when you feel right there, completely present, with no ideas about good and bad, right and wrong - just a sense of open heart and mind”
Pema Chodron
What would you paint if you weren’t going to judge yourself or fear judgement by others? What does turning away from expectation look like, what does fulfilling your own creative needs look like?
I post three free-to-read posts each month and a subscriber post that I publish on the first of every month. It’s a magazine style post where I share, over a three monthly cycle, inspirations, creative wellbeing advice, how to manage creative block and move to creative flow. In month two, I share lessons from my online courses in the form of a ‘dose’ of creativity to kickstart your sketchbook practice. Coming in 2025 are interviews with other artists as well as news from my studio and insights into my creative practice (in month 3). Join my tribe for £5 a month or £50 a year and get access to my previous posts too.
I definitely find that when I think as little as possible, I create art that is more satisfying and meaningful. And can sometimes be an interesting surprise when I step back and look at it too. I get a different kind of satisfaction when I create art with other people in mind though (not professionally). This was an interesting read, thanks for sharing this aspect of your process. I enjoyed seeing your wood panels. I hope these explorations take you on some interesting adventures and studio time isn't too limited over the festive period.