I am becoming

Life Beyond the Page

I have written a lot lately about navigating change and being in the maelstrom of midlife. I am re-calibrating after some major life shifts, and in the vortex, I am trying to find the new version of self for this next chapter.

Of course, change is life’s only constant, and we are never the same person from moment to moment, let alone after large chapters of our life close. I am a person that feels life, highly sensitive to the shifts within and without. In its best form, that feeds my creativity, in its worst it leaves me spinning.

Through these changes I have had an affinity with the image of the moth, working her way from caterpillar to ephemeral, winged spirit. It’s a satisfying symbol of change. And there are others too, of goddesses, and moon creatures, bird spirits and their lost feathers. There are stories in my head of nature and how it helps us find parallels and navigate our own inevitable changes.

I am Becoming - studio assemblage - Helen Hallows

I have been asking myself for a while how I integrate the landscapes that I paint with the language of spirit that is my inner landscape. I have begun playing with merging these ideas.

I can show up in the studio with an open soul, something happens. It may not be what I went there to do, but if I spend long enough there, something begins. And that something is often much more authentic than what I had on my studio to-do list that had a fixed outcome.

So rather than thunder on, with one strand of work evolving around landscape, and one strand evolving around soulscapes I am taking a sabbatical to play, to show up in the studio with curiosity, to not have all the answers, or know the outcomes and to hopefully birth a new creative chapter, because as my inner wisdom told me this week,

“It’s not a transition if nothing changes”

I have decided to let myself evolve, to trust my intuition. To stop forcing myself to be more of the same and see who shows up in the space I make for the new. Already there are seeds of ideas that I am willing explore.

“Anytime you feel good, you’ve found vibrational energy with who you are”

I am listening to a new version of me that is evolving. She is looking for something softer and more soulful. She is looking for connection through story and energy. She is looking for the intuitive and to use her hands more than her weary head.

Two Birds - Helen Hallows

This is one of the first landscapes that I created in my new studio. I like it as an image but it doesn’t feel aligned with who I am becoming. Living in the landscape is changing me and it’s going to take a while to know who I am in this place, and what I want to say to the world about my place in it.

I just have to show up without expectation and without self-judgement.

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If any of this resonated with you I will be exploring how to navigate creative growth in my September Paid Subscriber post. How do you trust your intuition? How do you know what is truly you and what is outside expectation or an older version of you? How do you evolve as a creative?

Over the next few months in my subscriber post (published on the 1st of each month), I will be creating a space for self-kindness, a space to help you unfurl your creative story with meaning, and a place to find the peace to be with your creative self in these times of change.

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Find out more about Abstract Landscapes.

A few years ago, I created an online course called Abstract Landscapes that you might enjoy. It links playful practice, bold shapes and joyful colour. You can save 20% off this course until the end of August with code AUG26. It’s self-paced and will get you noticing the patterns of the environment around you, be that urban or rural. It’s for the curious to work through tasks to enable you to build a sketchbook that is unique to you and captures a sense of place with pattern, colour and texture. I hope that it makes you feel good.

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Thank you for being here to witness my changes, and I hope, acknowledge your own.

Be kind to yourself

Helen

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