The Art of Intuition

I recently launched a new course, ‘The Nourishing Sketchbook’. In my studio, in my own space, I feel whole. I feel most myself. Creating the course content, I got out the colours, I drew loose and free. I created a course that connects you to self, to other creatives. I created a course that is honest about my own creative doubts and is I hope, generous.

My artist soul loved the task of sharing what I love. My body didn’t like the late nights, the early mornings and the push to get videos edited, web pages built. I enjoyed the buzz of building a course, then came the crash, then shingles :(

I am now resting, and wondering how to avoid the boom and bust of life!

I call myself an ‘intuitive’ artist. It means I am a strong believer in process, in connecting with ‘the source’. I believe in not trying to control the outcome but allowing for a sense of discovery and flow. I connect wellbeing with the ability to flow so when I get ill I have to ask myself how I missed the signs and over did it (again!).

There is a lot of social programming that runs counter to living an intuitive life. There is a lot of social conditioning that shows us to put the needs of others first and listen to others’ opinions and value them above our own. We are taught that listening to self is selfish. We are taught to provide for others and to serve others. And yes, community and family and love rely on our ability to connect and serve others. But in all the activity and expectation we can forget to listen to ourselves and our intuition, our own needs.

I was recently asked what I would like to see at the theatre. I didn’t know! I usually say ‘yes’ to other people’s suggestions, I trust their judgement. When I had to put into words, or thoughts, what inspires me at the theatre I felt a little lost. I don’t go often and it feels like a real treat, so choosing feels loaded and whilst I could think of plays I enjoyed, and plays I feel I ‘should’ enjoy, I couldn’t choose what the me, now here, about to turn 50, would like. It made me feel powerless.

And so to art making. Listening to your inner voice when you have been programmed that art is something to be judged can be hard. Getting into a space of wholeness that isn’t dogged by a sense that we should be doing something else, or doing the task in hand better. Taking time for reflection, to sit in silence and ask, what do I like about what I am making? Is this feeling of making, good? Is there a roar within or am I treading water? Is this leading somewhere new?

Being able to ask and answer questions without spiralling into self-doubt is hard. Allowing permission to change your techniques, or style, or scale of your work. By making these changes we grow and flow. You need to grasp a sense of your uniqueness, your spark from the infinite, your rightness. Some of that comes from addressing the ways we trap ourselves into patterns of being that do not serve.

When I create I am whole. When I am whole I feel alive and better able to do all the other things I am, to mother and to be a friend, to serve others and to build a positive relationship with myself and the world. Learning to balance my need to make art, my need to work and sustain myself and my family and my need to grow and BE…..let’s not forget the right to just BE….that is what creative thinking, living and finding flow can help achieve. But it is definitely all a work in progress; making art, courses, writing and learning to be a better human.

Sometimes resting is the best way to process and progress, and right now my body is demanding that I do.